"DESCHUTES PAID $136K LAST YEAR FOR MASSAGES: The county says the massage benefit for employees aims to reduce costs by keeping health issues in check..."
Oh, that's just too easy.
Still.
How can you argue with that? It's undoubtedly true!
Massages do make me so much more relaxed.
But why stop there?
I find that paid two week vacations to Hawaii also reduce stress! A nice car -- say a Mercedes -- that is smooth and reliable, does wonders for my mood. Maybe you could pay for the gas, too. Really a bother to have to fill it with gas all the time.
You know, my house could be a bit bigger. I'm sure that stretching out my living quarters would do wonders to my productivity.
Oh, and say 100K in my savings, so I don't have to worry about my bills so much.
Thank you, Commissioners. I'll be ever so loyal and helpful.
Oh, that's just too easy.
Still.
How can you argue with that? It's undoubtedly true!
Massages do make me so much more relaxed.
But why stop there?
I find that paid two week vacations to Hawaii also reduce stress! A nice car -- say a Mercedes -- that is smooth and reliable, does wonders for my mood. Maybe you could pay for the gas, too. Really a bother to have to fill it with gas all the time.
You know, my house could be a bit bigger. I'm sure that stretching out my living quarters would do wonders to my productivity.
Oh, and say 100K in my savings, so I don't have to worry about my bills so much.
Thank you, Commissioners. I'll be ever so loyal and helpful.