Middle Ground can't be Found.

I can't seem to find a middle ground in my business. I'm fine with an aggressive growth strategy; and I'm equally fine with a hunker down strategy.

With the growth strategy, I'm engaged in the business, having fun, buying product and moving things around, experimenting, testing, pushing the sales levels and then scrambling the cover the short falls. It's a voyage of discovery. Finding unexpected bestsellers, taking satisfaction in having that item that no one else has. Gathering compliments from out-of-towners who realize how good the store is.

What I'm not doing, is making money. I make my wages, and pay my bills. But all the rest goes toward improving the business.

When I'm hunkering down, I'm a bit disengaged, my real struggle is to stay patient, to wait for the right moment, to watch every expense like a hawk. I'm either doing without new product, or making the most of the product I have, or looking to squeeze more profit out of less. I keep up with the essentials, but more often buy an off item after a request, instead of having it in stock in the off chance I get a request.

And I make money. Real money. The store is still better than most stores, and during times of difficulty, I can take pride in earning a good profit. There is a certain satisfaction in making do, in butchering the old buffalo and using every bit; the horn, the skin, the meat. But....basically, it's a waiting game. I can't wait to go back to my growth strategy.

Why on earth wouldn't I take the Make Money route? I'm in business, aren't I?

Well, there is also the little matter of enjoying and taking pride in what I do everyday. Everyone who has a job probably knows all kinds of ways to cut corners. Some do, some don't. Every craftsman probably know tricks to shorten the process, or use inferior products.

In a sense, I believe what corporate has figured out, in a very cold-blooded way, is to squeeze for every dollar, and throw a few bucks for promotion to convince everyone the "the customer is always right" or that their 'associates' are the best they can be. But it's really about economy of scale, isn't it? If you can save a few cents on every item but sell millions and millions of them, you're really talking big money. The impulse to make the item a little better by spending a few extra cents just isn't there.

I repeat this, because I think it's really, really important: For the chainstores "the impulse to make an item a little better by spending a few extra cents just isn't there."

It isn't all altruistic, though. How else am I going to distinguish myself from the big guys? And who knows, maybe the extra really does in the end help me stay in business -- and you don't make any profit if you don't stay in business.

Can't prove a negative. I've had to hunker down a couple of times in my career. The first time, because I had no savings and no credit and was deep in debt and simply couldn't take any chances. And sure enough, after about 3 years of watching every dime, my sales were the lowest they've ever been. Fortunately, that was the bottom, and I was able to start a growth strategy around the same time.

Perhaps I've survived the ups and downs of business because I was always trying to improve the store, so that where one thing would stop working I'd have another thing in the wings to take it's place.

Over the last couple years, I realized that I simply didn't have any retirement, that even living modestly, it was going to be difficult to get by on just social security. That I was going to have to keep working full-time. There was still a chance I could get there, if I tried very hard to save for the next 10 years.

The recession hit at about the same time as I was ready to go into this mode. So I was prepared. I not only haven't lost money, I've gained some ground. Paid off the debts, put some money in savings.

This last year, I hunkered down a bit more. I chose to work everyday, instead of cutting back. But I wasn't pushing the envelope, either. As I've mentioned before, my inventory is the best it's ever been, despite the recession.

But I wouldn't mind filling in the little gaps, getting more books and games, getting second copies of best-sellers, and so on.

With sales now being up for five consecutive months, I'm starting to feel more comfortable about going for the growth strategy. The biggest factor is, that I'm not as worried about retirement, now. As long as I keep the income at about current levels, we'll be fine. I can afford a little help, and I can afford to take some chances. (Trust me, not foolish chances....I never want to be in the hole again.)

So it's onward and upward, hopefully.