I never set out to stop drinking. I like beer and wine, and I drank almost every weekend in college and beyond. I'd sit down a beer when I'd start writing. I'd drink at writer's group when they were still serving...
I'd tailed off over the years, because I married a non-drinker. But I'd still get a buzz on late at night, sometimes. I found it valuable in that it knocked me out of my ruts, sometimes, gave me a slightly different perspective. And it often crystallized for me what was most important at the moment.
Still, in my early 40's, I decided to take a year break from drinking to see if it changed anything.
It didn't seem to change much, or so I thought.
It wasn't until I went back to drinking occasionally that I noticed something.
I would often feel either emotionally and socially vulnerable for a few days after, or I would have a much shorter temper.
It didn't seem to matter whether I drank one or two beers or a full six-pack. The results were the same.
And my sleep patterns would be totally disrupted if I drank more than one or two days in a row.
So every time I would think about drinking, I would ask myself: Are you in the clear for the next few days as far as anything challenging?
The answer, since I work most days, is almost always .....No. I'm not in the clear.
I hold the thought of drinking in my head for a few moments, and then it passes, and the next day I'm usually glad I didn't do it.
Lately, I've even been turning down the offer of a beer or a glass of wine at family dinners and gathering, which was pretty much the last place I was doing it.
Oh, I'll probably still drink a bit a few times of year. I drank at New Year's, for instance.
But it seems like I hardly drink at all, and I never set out to do that.
I'd tailed off over the years, because I married a non-drinker. But I'd still get a buzz on late at night, sometimes. I found it valuable in that it knocked me out of my ruts, sometimes, gave me a slightly different perspective. And it often crystallized for me what was most important at the moment.
Still, in my early 40's, I decided to take a year break from drinking to see if it changed anything.
It didn't seem to change much, or so I thought.
It wasn't until I went back to drinking occasionally that I noticed something.
I would often feel either emotionally and socially vulnerable for a few days after, or I would have a much shorter temper.
It didn't seem to matter whether I drank one or two beers or a full six-pack. The results were the same.
And my sleep patterns would be totally disrupted if I drank more than one or two days in a row.
So every time I would think about drinking, I would ask myself: Are you in the clear for the next few days as far as anything challenging?
The answer, since I work most days, is almost always .....No. I'm not in the clear.
I hold the thought of drinking in my head for a few moments, and then it passes, and the next day I'm usually glad I didn't do it.
Lately, I've even been turning down the offer of a beer or a glass of wine at family dinners and gathering, which was pretty much the last place I was doing it.
Oh, I'll probably still drink a bit a few times of year. I drank at New Year's, for instance.
But it seems like I hardly drink at all, and I never set out to do that.