Oh, yeah. The supernatural twist in the WIP makes the story much more interesting and fun. I told Linda about the twist and her eyes lit up and she started spinning off scenarios. (I'm not above taking suggestions.)

It's going to require a lot of rewriting of the first 8000 words, but it also becomes a much more straightforward progression. Instead of jumping back and forth, I'm going to make the story sequential, except for the first chapter which is a flash-forward. That makes the book better.

I'm going to have to think up some action sequences, but that usually isn't too difficult.



I'm reading "Takeover" all the way through at writer's group. It's amazing how dialogue heavy it is.

Over the last few days, I've been editing the scans of Star Axe and Snowcastles. It's clear to me that I was avoiding dialogue as much as was possible when I started. It's mostly narrative. Chapters are 20 pages long. I'm not sure I was thinking in terms of "scenes." The whole writing thing was still pretty amorphous to me, despite having taken classes in writing from Dwight Newton and reading a bunch of "how-to" books.

Somehow the process became much clearer to me this time around. Now my books are made up of scenes with a few transitions, and there is almost always dialogue unless it's an action scene. Still don't know if my dialogue is any good, but I'm no longer afraid of using it to fill out the characters and advance the plot. 



Once again, now that I'm into a book, I realize that I don't tend to second-guess myself when I'm writing. When I'm writing, I'm confident. It's when I'm not writing that I tend to start to have doubts. I just immerse myself in the story at hand.

It also reminds me that when I'm writing a book, I'm doing the best I can and that I don't release books until I think they are good. That is, when I'm finished, I really like what I've done.

But after I finish book, I tend to move on, and over time, little doubts start to set in. I think this is just because I'm removed from the book. It's much like when I'm not writing--doubts begin to assail me.

What I have to remember is that at the time I put the book out, I really liked it, I really thought it was good, and I think I need to hold to that notion and not let time and distance create doubts.

Really, when you're writing you realize that this is what you're capable of--this is what you do. Every book is a bit of a crapshoot. Sometimes the plots and characters just come together, sometimes you have to struggle, sometimes there are intrinsic problems that can't be solved but aren't so bad that they completely negate the book.

Rarely does it all come together: the great premise, the writing, the plot.

Each time I start a book, is a chance to get it right. 

Star Axe back in print.

In my early 20's, I had a sleepless night dreaming up a fantasy story. It took me five years to actually finish it, and it was published in 1980.

Star Axe. https://www.amazon.com/Star-Axe-Duncan-McGeary-ebook/dp/B078X1DLFV/

It was a mass distribution paperback, selling all over the country. Pretty exciting.

Many years later, I tracked down the original cover artist and bought the art, intending to put it out myself. I scanned the book, but it was such a mess that I only got about 2/3rds of the way cleaning it up.

Crossroad Press, who bought my Tuskers series and Snaked, specialize in reprints, so they took it on and scanned it and this version was easy to correct, took me a few hours.

And now it is up for sale.

The cover blurb is "Classic Sword and Sorcery Novel Back in Print at Last!" which is admittedly a little cheeky. I feel like I'm a much better writer now, but people seemed to like it at the time, so I decided it wasn't fair to change something that people have already read. It is what it is.

I would really dig having a physical version of the book, but I've sort of decided to let the publishers do whatever the publishers want.

I'm going to be over here writing.

So I thought about my little supernatural twist in my thriller on my walk, figured out what I could change to make it possible, and then did it.

So I guess I'm committed.

In a way, this is a declaration of freedom. I know that I have very little chance with the editor I was going to send this book to if I added anything supernatural.

But it makes it a better book, both for the reader and for the writer.

I'm not sure how long I can keep the twist under wraps. I'm guessing maybe halfway through the book. Damned if I know what happens after that. I just know that it intrigues me so much more than what I was already writing. It's that little bit extra that every book needs.

Twists are tricky. For one thing, if the reader doesn't encounter the twist until near the end of the book, the story has to keep the readers interest until they get there. Which means, in effect, that the twist is extra, it's the cherry on top, it's a little added bonus for the reader.

Anyway, like I said, while it makes it a better book and a book that will maintain my interest and hopefully the interest of the readers--this makes it less commercial.

So what I'm doing, in effect, is saying a better book is more important than it's commercial prospects.

I just realized how I could make this a better book, if a less commercial one.

The whole point of me writing thrillers is to try to catch on with a mainstream publisher. I have, or I used to have, a big editor who was interested in my writing and encouraging me to submit non-supernatural material.  "Deadfall Ridge" and "Takeover" were my first two attempts.

Never heard back from him.

The WIP is my third and last attempt, this time a sort of Noir-hardboiled storyline.

I'm about 6K words in and the big worries I have are: it is pretty much a pastiche of all the hardboiled books I've read in my life. And I'm not sure there is enough plot.

Ultimately, this is how I felt about "Deadfall Ridge." There just didn't seem to be enough zing.

In the past, I simply would have added a supernatural element to the story. It wouldn't have to be overbearing. "The Last Fedora: the Gangster Golem Chronicles" is like that. Mostly a thriller with a Golem involved.

Or "Led to the Slaughter" which is three quarters a straight story about the Donner Party, and maybe a quarter about werewolves. "The Darkness You Fear" which is about abuse and murder, with ghosts only moderately involved. (Ghosts who Hauntings are to elicit real-life emotions.)

"Blood of the Succubus" started off as a story about a female serial killer, then morphed.

And so on.

That seems to be my natural inclination, where I'm most comfortable. The real world with a touch of the uncanny.

I'm seriously considering, if I can ever find the time, of going back and adding Bigfoot to "Deadfall Ridge." I sort of teased at the idea but never went there. But I can see a way to include it. Change the name to the setting: "Bigfoot Ranch."

With "Takeover" I'd bring in some sort of Indian curse, because the occupiers dig up a graveyard.

As it happens, a major part of the plot for the WIP is an old Victorian house that is being renovated. It occurs to me that there is a bit of gothicness to the idea. The twist would be that what the main character sees isn't real. The house is broken down and dilapidated, the neighborhood kids stay away from it, but the main character sees something else, interacts with the woman who is renovating, but only he can see it or her.

Sort of "Hardboiled Haunting." (Possible title?)

If I do this, it probably makes the book unsaleable to the big time editor.

But damn it, the book is way more interesting that way.

With "Takeover" I attempted 'real life,' so to speak. I tried to get into the head of 'real' people, speak in their voice, have the events be completely believable. Of course, in the second half of the book, I went full plot, which was much less believable.

In hindsight, the second half was better than the first.

With this new book, I'm not even going there. This is a Noir-ish, hard boiled story, in its own little world. I'm trying to maintain the same tone all the way through, a story alone, consistent. But I realized yesterday that it is sort of in the eternal gray territory, that it could be set in the 50's or 60's or 70's or today.

It's a bit of world building, just without the supernatural elements.

Is this really so different from what Lee Child, or John Sandford, or Robert Crais do in their stories? Are these any more than a fantasy? I'm reading a T. Jefferson Parker novel right now, and it barely skims the surface of believably. It doesn't spend a lot of time with depth, just a quick easy story.

And isn't that why I read them?

Hard boiled land is a pleasant place to be. You can work out all your aggression with no real cost. You can pretend to be a bad ass. To meet the femme fatale. To stand up to the Bad Guys. None of it real. Just create it a world, spin a story, that the reader can comfortably sink into. 

Woke up in the middle of the night thinking about the book I just finished reading. It's by an author I respect and who is a Facebook friend, so I'll keep the title to myself.

Anyway, it was a very strangely plotted book. I could tell it was his first book, or close to his first book, because his later books are much better. It had lots of red herrings, dead ends, and superfluous material, it was told almost completely in flashback and more often than not in a simple narrative form instead of vivid scenes.

And yet the author's voice was enough to carry me through. It goes to show, I think, that there is no one way to tell a story.


After that, my mind turned to my own current WIP. In some ways, the story has already gone off the rails. Roughly speaking, I'm writing chapters set in the present alternating with chapters in the past, or as I may end up labeling them; "Spring" and "Fall."

I don't know if this is confusing or not. I think it is probably a matter of making sure the first paragraph of each chapter orients the reader.

But this is the way the story is being told to me. Not to get all mystical, but I'm letting my subconscious have its way.

I figured out a wrinkle to the story which may or may not be a good thing. I mean, it will complicate matters but I think it's a welcome complication. This is a straightforward Noir story. I'm trying not to be cliched about it, but it is definitely a pastiche of all the hard boiled fiction I've read.

The biggest thing is that it's engaging my attention. As long as that happens, I have a book. Complications help me keep engaged. As long as they don't stymie the book.

The first sentence of my new book is "I work alone," so the Word program used that as the de facto title to the book. It'll do for now.

The story is already going in some weird directions. Basically, I've got a current chapter, followed by a flashback, followed by a current chapter, followed by a flashback. Don't know if that is going to continue. Don't know if it really works, mostly because some of the events are similar just at different times. The big crime boss calls him to his presence, once because the hero has a confrontation with the crime boss's obnoxious son (flashback) and once because the boss is demanding that he do a job for them (present.) So don't know if that works.

But I figured out yesterday that I just need to "follow the story." Not so much to "create" the story but to "follow" the story that is already there. The main requirement is that I be "plugged" into the story, that I'm feeling it and sensing it and seeing it. There is a sense that the story already exists and all I'm doing is following it as it is revealed.

I've put too much pressure on myself, I think. It was the lack of expectation that let me be so prolific for those first few years, and I need to get back to that feeling. Just let the story spin out, follow the leads, let myself be constantly surprised. Do some jiggering when it is all done, but trust the process, trust my subconscious to uncover the story.

I have tried and tried and tried to plan ahead, to outline, and I just can't seem to do it. Even being too locked into the "premise" or "theme" can get me off course, because then I don't let the story dictate where it wants to go.

On the other hand, it helps to feel like there is enough meat to the story to make it worthwhile doing, to carry me through to the end. That is just an instinct, a feeling for the character and for the tone of the story.

I'm writing this in first person, which I swore I wouldn't do again, but that's how the story revealed itself and so far I'm comfortable in the skin of the hero/anti-hero. I can feel him. Frankly, I never could quite feel Hart Davis in "Deadfall Ridge." Hart was more of a stand-in for me and when I do that it always feel really amorphous in the same way I can't really figure my own self out, too complicated, too contradictory, too close.

When I have a separate person as narrator, someone not me, I'm much more comfortable.

I'd hoped to have this book be nothing but action, let the plot and characters fall where they may. But of course, I'm already developing plot and characters and that doesn't always mean action, but the overriding principle is to "follow the story." 

Right or wrong, I've started my "Shoot 'em up." (I don't have a title yet.)

This is my third attempt at a thriller. I've decided to go all out.

My goal is to have at least one action scene every chapter. It needs to start with a bang and just keep banging. It is admittedly a plot that's been done many times before, but hopefully I can bring something new to it.

I want to have fun, maintain a consistent tone all the way through. If nothing else, it's good exercise. I don't want another one of these books were the first 50 pages meander, even if done well and for reasons.

I'll have to see where it leads. I sometimes don't know if a story is going to peter out until it does. I don't have a sense of where this story is going, which isn't proof of anything. Some of my best stories started off this way and just took off.

I'm hoping the stricture of having at least one action scene each chapter will keep the invention going.

On my walk today I decided that the mistake I've been making is being too influenced by the idea of being published, instead of just doing what I want to do.

I started off with the concept that I would write what I wanted to write when I wanted to write it.

So for instance, "Deadfall Ridge" plays around with the idea of Bigfoot but never really brings him into the story. What would happen if I bring him in? Call the book "Bigfoot Ranch." Have Granger be the main character. (Just substitute him for Hart Davis, make up another character to be the Granger character. Maybe a guy named Hart Davis?, heh.)

The main thing, I think, is to quit trying to be mainstream. I'm not any good at it and I'm not that interested. I like the supernatural/fantasy slant to things.

It would probably make even more sense to just go on and write something new, though.

I still want to attempt a shoot 'em up. Start with an action scene, follow it with an action scene, then write an action scene and then another action scene. You get the picture. Make Richard Stark's Parker my model.

So he needs to be a anti-hero, but with a code of honor. Proficient with guns. A thief. Works alone. Is pulled into a job against his wishes; job goes south, they come after him. He turns the tables and goes after them.

Pretty simple. Just enjoy the process of it.

Apparently, I've turned mortal.

I can't seem to get started. It's the whole idea that it needs to be a hit instead of just the idea of writing another story. But it's really not a bad question to ask. What's the point if it isn't going to get anywhere?

Whatever I choose I need to commit to. I can't be stalled a third time. That would be deadly.

One of the things I told myself coming back to writing was to be patient. To make sure the manuscripts were ready before sending them off or publishing them.

When I ran into trouble with my first two attempts, "Faerielander" and "The Reluctant Wizard," for instance, I set them aside. I didn't publish until my third book, "Freedy Filkins." It was hit or miss after that, but mostly hit.

But there were some clunkers along the way.

As of now, I have written 13 books that I haven't felt were ready for primetime. Someday, maybe, I'll go back and work on them some more, see which ones can be saved. But in the meantime, I've forged ahead.

When I had an opening with a major publisher for some thrillers, I wrote first "Deadfall Ridge" and then "Takeover." In both cases, I thought the books were ready. In the same way I thought my "Tuskers" books and "Snaked: and my "Virginia Reed Aventures"  and my "Vampire Evolution Trilogy" and all the books I've self-published were ready.

But for some reason, after three or four months, it became clear to me that I'd made some missteps with both thrillers. I don't think it was because I was impatient. Maybe it's because they are thrillers, very plot oriented, without any ability to liven up the story with supernatural elements, but time gave me a new perspective.

I mean, I thought the books were good when I sent them off. It wasn't impatience that got me but for some reason, these particular books turned out to have some ready fixes that I simply hadn't thought of...that I hadn't even known were necessary.

I will no longer send off any book without sitting on it for at least 3 months, even though in most cases, I'm not sure it will be necessary. But what this has taught me is that I won't always know if it is necessary until it happens.

Maybe I'm just second-guessing myself on these books because they weren't immediately accepted. Maybe if I applied the same analysis to my earlier books, I'd have come to the same conclusions. But I don't think so. There were a couple of books that had some weaknesses that I regretted, but I didn't have any choice because of the publishing schedule. But that was done with full awareness, and the weaknesses to me also had some interesting elements.

I suppose the same thing could be said to the weaknesses of "Takeover." I like what I did, but I need to admit that perhaps they don't serve the story.  Time has given me the ruthlessness to remove those elements and see if the story works better.

The interesting part to me is that what doesn't work on "Takeover" was the same reason I wrote the book in the first place. That is, if I hadn't done those character chapters early in the book, I wouldn't have written it at all. If I hadn't included the politics, the book would have seemed shallow to me.

But, I just didn't have the particular chops to make it work.

I suppose the lesson might be that one shouldn't try to write beyond one's means.  I certainly tried with this book, but I fell short. But I think I can fix it by sticking to what I do well.

The second half of the book is fine. It's the first and second acts that need to be refined. I'll just have to see if it is even possible.

I'm still not feeling compelled to start a new book. I think part of the problem is that I have two stories I've left hanging 2/3rds of the way through: my novella "The Wyvern Riders" and the little fantasy I started in November called "Castle La Magie."

So I've decided to finish these before I do anything else.

I also want to attempt a rewrite of "Takeover."

The first  step will be to simply take out those scenes that I don't think work or which are only there for character development. I can take about four out of the first five chapters and take snippets of the character development and add them to later chapters that are part of the plot. I have one character who is a poet and I've inserted 3 poems in the book which I will take out. Things like that.

The parts that aren't working are mostly the interface between the politics of the book and how it is presented in the book to the public. Things like news conferences and declarations. They just didn't seem altogether convincing to me. Either I cut these completely or refer to them obliquely or paraphrase them somehow.

Thing is, the action parts of the book work really well, actually, and I went in and added enough of this action to the first half of the book to maybe not need all the other setup.

So what I'm going to do is simply remove every scene that strikes me as lacking and see how it reads. I'm hoping there is still a story there that can be saved by new transitions.

I think about 2/3rds of this book works very well. But the 1/3rd that doesn't work is dragging it down. If I can just simply cut the 1/3rd and still have a story, well, there you go.

I doubt it will be that easy.

I will keep a file of the current version just in case.

Climbed quite a ways into the south edge of Henderson Flat OHV area. Weren't any OHV's but about halfway up was overtaken by a trio of galloping horse riders. Went a little further and ventured off the trail, (I'm more and more willing to do that as long as I can keep track of where I am). I tried to reach some awesome looking pinnacles in the distance. Basically, if you kept traveling along the same hills that have the Smith Rocks for a fair distance north, it would be like the last outcropping.  Had to go hike straight up an extra mile, following a dry creek bed, and even then came up short.

Spending these last three days of the year trying to think about what I want to write.

All I know is that there has to be some substance and I have to want to write it. Other than that, I'm waiting for inspiration.

The woods are amazing. It's probably weird that I'm so willing to walk about by myself, but it always feels good. The weather is just right; the sun shining but cool enough. Completely silent, no traffic sounds, no motors, no planes, no gunfire, no internet. The ground is moist but not muddy, soft to the step. What a wonderful place to live--innumerable out of the way places less than half an hour from town. More than Bend, frankly, so it really has turned out to be a good thing to have moved here.

I've trained myself to write on these walks, which may explain how come so many of my stories are taking place in the High Desert. It's just a natural background.

Walked the ridge above Lake Billy Chinook from Overlook Park south. No trail, but soft ground and impossible to get lost. One boat in the water which whirred away as I sat here. A warm day, almost 60 degrees, a bit of wind.

Gives me a bit of the willies to be sitting so high. 

Going to start exploring this area more. Try to find some trails and or unused roads. This is the first time walking in two weeks because I've been sick. Even today I'm coughing, but damn I needed to get out of the house.

Still undecided what to write starting the first of the year. Hoping something will come along and announce itself.

One thing I've learned from writing Deadfall Ridge and Takeover. In both books, after 3 months passed by I figured out how to improve them. It's not only that I see the structure more clearly, I'm also more willing to be ruthless in cutting and consolidating.

But by then, I'd already sent them off. I went ahead and sent the revised Deadfall Ridge and I'll send the revised Takeover, but I doubt the editor is willing to read them more than once.

So I've learned. It seems to hold true of my thrillers most of all, probably because they are even more plot-oriented than my horror.

I've decided that from now on, no matter what, any finished first draft is going to be set aside for at least 3 months before looking at it again. I should be able to start putting this into some kind of schedule. Write one book, set it aside, write another book and then come back to the first book. After the initial delay it shouldn't hold me back at all.

I've proven I can write books, that I can finish them. But I'm wondering what the point is if I can't get anywhere with them. So that gets me thinking I need a "killer" idea. But...well, that just means I don't write anything at all.

I need to make a choice and just start writing.

Starting Tuesday, I'm going to start and I'm figuring that it will become clear to me what to do.

This has shaken my confidence in my overall health. I've been sick for 10 days now, still coughing and hacking, still sleeping heavy. I'd just gotten a clean bill of health from the doctor, not a single thing wrong with my 65 year old body, feeling lots of energy from my walking an hour everyday, feeling immortal.

Just a simple cold, but a reminder that the body is fragile.

Boys are home for Christmas in the living room watching The Last Kingdom with their mom. They are both looking good. Good guys. Waiting for Linda's brother Dave to come over from LaPine so we can open gifts.

Linda went out at the last minute and got a tree and decorations and the kitchen is packed with food and Walt the dog and Panga the cat are getting along and all is well. They didn't cancel Christmas at Pegasus Books again.

Had decided even before I got sick that I'd start fresh with my writing in January. I'm still a little undecided whether to attempt another thriller or to go ahead with the Virginia Reed adventure. Whichever one I choose, I will immediately start in on the other when I'm finished.

Going to try to stay away from checking sales and rankings and reviews next year. The reviews that are trickling in now are sometimes good and sometimes bad, but I think they emanate from the general population and not from people who were more or less well-disposed toward me, so they're trending  a little more down than they used to. Also, I'm just more established and I think people tend to be harsher on established writers. So for instance, Stephen King's Carrie, Pet Sematary and The Gunsligher, are all just below a 4 rating. Not that I'm any Stephen King.

But the main thing is my wish for a pure writing experience, where the expectations of the book come from inside not outside. It's probably not possible to reproduce that first year, or even that second year, where it was all about the writing and everything was possible. But I can at least turn the focus back inward again.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Apparently, the Black Death arrived on our shores. I took to my bed for the last 7 days and thus did not see it. I'll have to take Linda's word for it.

Good thing I had my flu shot.

My head is still stuffed with webbing, my eyes are red slits, and my throat is threatening to burst, but I can type.

Went to see The Last Jedi and through the haze I liked it.

Boys are coming home for Christmas Eve, so I have a couple of days for the last of the pustules to pop.

I do not wish to spread the Black Death.

The room is spinning. Good bye.

 

My inspirations.

I was twelve years old when I read The Hobbit. In 1964. Yeah, I'm that old.

I was thirteen when I read Lord of the Rings. My brother Mike was home from college and playing in a summer stock Fantasticks, so that soundtrack was on the turntable the whole time I was reading the trilogy. Nothing is more achingly nostalgic than "Try to Remember."

I'd always read science fiction in my mix of reading, though our house was full of all kinds of books. Tons of books. (Many years later Linda and I started the Bookmark with my parent's books as the seed stock.)

I started looking for fantasy like LOTRs and damned if there was any. Hard to imagine now, but there wasn't anything like it. Oh, there were Victorian type fantasies, but they just didn't have the same feel to me.

I found Weirdstone of Brisingamen and other what would now be termed "young adult," books and of course there was Narnia. Some S.F. authors had a fantasy feel like Andre Norton and Jack Vance, but nothing that really hit the mark. Finding the Conan books was a pretty good stopgap.

I still remember being at the U of O bookstore during a debate tournament and seeing a Frazetta cover from across the room. Next thing I knew I was staring down at it in my hands with a weird frisson running down my spine.

I think it was another five years before I came across what I considered a real fantasy in a bookstore, Red Moon, Black Mountain, by Joy Chant. There might have been slightly earlier ones, but I didn't see them.

So in that five year span I conceived Star Axe. Because I had to. It was the only way I could fill the void. (I had no idea there'd be a movie called Star Wars.)

I'd always wanted to be a writer but I didn't have the first clue how to go about it. One night, as I was laying in bed, I said to myself "Tell yourself a story" and the whole thing bloomed in my mind in one sleepless night.

It took me another seven or eight years to actually complete the damn thing, with many a deadend. I really struggled trying to learn even the basics. But eventually I finished it and sent it off.

Meanwhile, lots of fantasy was coming out. All of it inspired by Lord of the Rings. I remember reading Sword of Shannara with its elves and dwarves and such and thinking, "You can DO that?!!" See, I'd tried to stay away from using those motifs thinking Tolkien had the market on those.

Idiot.

To my own surprise, a publisher took Star Axe. They labeled it as "sword and sorcery" but that was all right. I loved that genre after all. And I wasn't about to question a publisher. They did zero editing, they published my synopsis word for word, and it was a different experience than I expected.

But I enthusiastically started writing Snowcastles, which they also accepted. Then hit a roadblock with Icetowers, but eventually got it to where they liked it.

I ran out of steam after that. My fourth book was a disaster, my fifth book not much better, so I tried to be different with the next book, Deviltree. It almost got accepted half a dozen times. I came soooooo close. It was heartbreaking.

I wrote Sometimes a Dragon as a reaction to having to rewrite Deviltree so many times to the dictates of editors. I was very self-indulgent, so it was both a book I loved and was probably unreadable.

Then I married Linda, had an instant family, and bought Pegasus Books and that was the last time I wrote for 25 years. (Or at least, finished anything.)

Sometime during those 25 years I sort of gave up on fantasy books. Most of them were retreads. I constantly got books recommended to me as "different" but they never were. I read mostly thrillers and mysteries and the occasional S.F.

I loved George Martin's writing. Tuf Voyaging is one of my favorite SF books, so when Linda told me Game of Thrones was good, I read it. Since then I've found a couple other fantasy writers I like, Lois McMaster Bujold's Chalion books and Patrick Rothfuss, but again most fantasy seems warmed over to me. I think I've tried just about everyone. Some try too hard to be different, some are just messes.

So when I came back to writing, I decided not to do fantasy this time. I'd long had the idea of the Donner Party and werewolves, so I did that. I woke up one morning with a vampire book in mind ("Oh, no!" I thought. "Not another vampire book!") I wrote the Lander books, and so on.

But other than a few novellas I wrote in the Tales of the Thirteen Principalities, I've stayed away from my first love.

One of these days I'm going to do it. I'm going to sit down and write my own trilogy. I think I'm much more prepared now to try it. I think it's been a good thing for me to learn the craft of writing and give myself plenty of time to think about what I want to do.

One of these days.

Tuskers IV is Live!

Tuskers IV is out in digital form for the first time, thanks to Crossroad Press.

You know, if I'm allowed to say, this book is a pretty good conclusion to the Wild Pig saga. It's hard to wrap up a long storyline in a satisfying way, and I think I got this one right. I probably shouldn't say it, but I think it's the best of the books, though each book has it's own reasons for being. You know, especially the first, which was sort of a revelation to me in how much fun it was to write.

Crossroad is talking about trying to get a "major promo, and with all the good reviews, it has a good shot" for the first book.

I assume they're talking about something like Bookbub, which for those who don't know, is a big deal. Or perhaps one of the other sites.

Anyway, it's nice to have a publisher being proactive. How fortunate I've been to find new publishers who are glad to have me aboard. Kind of unexpected, you know? I'd figured I'd be going off on my own, which means really that I'd being talking here and on Facebook and Twitter--and that's about it. Not enough in this day and age.

Very encouraging going forward.

I really need some reviews for this book if you feel like it. I really do think you'll enjoy it.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07837H8BG/

Time and intention.

This is a word splurge, probably because I haven't written on my story for four days.

Anyway, I've had some down time think about where I'm going with my writing.

My intention wasn't to get rich or become famous, though I've had much more activity in my career than I expected. My intention was to try to write a good book.

I was reading about some Indy writers and how much they are producing and earning and it is really quite amazing.

I really can't complain since I haven't really done the marketing work that it takes to make it as an Indy. In fact, I chose not to be an Indy when I went with the small publishers. The idea of putting out eight or ten books a year fell by the wayside. Instead, I've done about three books a year for five years. I could have done more than double that rate, basically. But if I wasn't going to promote I'm not sure putting out twice as many books would have resulted in higher sales.

I suppose if I want to do assembly line writing I could use a penname, and I probably should. But even there, I want to books to be as good as I can make them.

One major difference I see with the Indy writers is that I'm not dependent on writing for a living.

But, man, the amount of money some of these Indys are supposedly making is astounding if true. Then again, we're probably only talking about five hundred of these people in total. They did all the tricks, got in early, were highly aggressive, wrote to the market, produced lots of quantity.

I didn't do any of those things. Nor do I want to.

So like I said, I can't complain.

Meanwhile, the parallels to owning the store are still strong. Today I read a long article about "burnout," which is the thing I think most small businesses do wrong. Instead of staying small, they choose to grow, can't manage their growth, and burn out.

Writing needs to be fun. There has to be a certain level of engagement, and I'm still trying to find that proportion. I know I can't do what I did those first few years, which was put my head down and just write and ignore everything else.

I was afraid if I took my foot off the pedal that I'd drift to the side of the road. I still fear that. Sometimes it feels like that.

But then I remember that I finished a book just two months ago, that I've got half a book already finished. I need to keep the faith that I will be able to immerse myself once again next year. I've got The Last Fedora (maybe my personal favorite) ready to put up at the first of the year. I probably have an audio version of Led to the Slaughter coming out soon. My 80's books are getting published.

Things are happening.

At some point, I'd really like to go backward and completely rewrite all the novels in my Book Vault. Choose which ones to put out under my own name and which to put out under D.M. McKinnon. Also, maybe consider sending some of them to my new publishers.

I was thinking about Takeover yesterday and thinking about how much potential the idea had. I fell short probably, even though I think it has some of my best writing. I fell short because I was trying to do something I'd never done before. I tried for greater meaning.

But how do I imbue it with depth? How do I make it better?

Time and intention.

I have a feeling there is a way. I have a feeling that it involves rewriting in a targeted way. I think it requires time and context. Maybe six months, maybe a year, maybe both.

For instance, I once had the idea of writing a poem for every chapter, looking for the dreamstate words, and then taking those words and adding them. I still think that's a pretty cool idea.

I thought yesterday of how I should look at every page and ask myself, "What could I say that would add to the depth of this?"

Or alternatively, look at every page and ask myself, "How can I add action, color, sensation to this page?"

Or "How can I add to each character?"

I'm not sure if any of this would do any good, but I have in Takeover a good template for a serious book. I have a strong motif and a solid story and interesting characters. I just need to up my game, somehow, someway.

Time is the only thing I can really add to the mix. Time and intention.

Another insight I had on my walk yesterday was that planning and thinking about what I'm going to write is never a bad thing. The more I think about the overall book, the more I think about each chapter, the better they turn out.

The only problem is--at some point I want to turn that planning into words. Sometimes I'm forced to, because if words start flowing and if I don't write them, I lose them forever. So it's a constant tug of war between trying to incubate ideas and the necessity of getting them down on paper.

One thing I really want to do with the next book is take more notes. I often think to do that, but I don't always follow through. (Generally, I think I'm going to remember...) I don't really have a mechanism or process in place for this. I'm going to put a small notebook in my pocket and carry it everywhere. I'm going to open a Notes file for each book. I'm going to have paper at my desk to jot notes down.

The second thing I want to do is use my office as Writing Central. I've become way too dependent on writing while walking, which is fine as long as walking is possible. Right now it is 15 degrees outside, and there is no way I can sit and write when it's that cold. Last year I lost three months to snow.

But any kind of distraction at home also seems to be hard to overcome.

Right now, if the TV is on I have to go to the bedroom because that's the only room in the house where I can't hear the infernal contraption. I'm going to experiment with white noise in my office so that I can work there instead.

I'll probably still do most of my internet browsing at the kitchen table. Drink my coffee. That kind of thing. I'm sitting there right now. It's become my main station.

But I need to separate those activities from full-on writing.

In a sense, I'm sort of re-evaluating what I want to do. I'm ready to slow down, maybe get a little more serious. I mean, I've always been serious, but I have a much greater sense of what's needed. When I started, I chose to write quickly, figure out the best process, let myself write anything that came to me, not impede that progress in any way. My feeling was that I'd learn more about writing by writing than I would by studying or thinking about it.

I think that was true. I got better at it. It didn't always result in a better book, because there is a little bit of luck involved there, but I could feel myself getting the hang of it.

This progress has more or less plateaued, I think. I don't know that writing more books is the answer now. I think choosing bigger targets, spending my time thinking about them in advance, and then spending more time with them after the first draft is what I need to do now.

The middle part, the process of writing the first draft, that works great. I need to stick with that. I think I can give myself the luxury of giving myself at least several months after finishing for recharging and context before coming back to re-write. On some books, such as Deadfall Ridge and Takeover, I think I can give myself even more time. The one publisher who might have taken them hasn't given me a response, so they are orphaned right now even though I think they're good.

I'll be proud to put them out under my own name and impetus. But since I've got time, I might as well use it. I've already improved Deadfall Ridge dramatically with one rewrite. I'm betting I can do it again, and maybe even again. Just keep at it until it works. Same with Takeover; especially Takeover which is the book that has the most potential in my mind.

I kept thinking that if I continued writing I'd find an idea that was open to greater depth. Takeover is that book, and instead of being able to exploit it, I instead just managed a better version of what I was already doing. In other words, I couldn't quite step up to the full potential. Maybe I just have my limits, that's entirely possible. God knows, I read some authors and know I can never do that. But...I can try to up my game a little.

Watching a documentary the other day about session musicians and one of them used the phrase, "Good is the enemy of great.'

Well, good luck with that. If your goal is only to be great, well...that's a recipe for never starting or for quitting when you fall short. But...there is a kernel of truth there. The way I've put it, "Being good isn't always good enough."

I can't take a magic pill. I can't be deeper and smarter and more talented than I am. So I have to look for processes that will bring out the best in me. The two things I can do are "time and intention." Have the intention to write a "great" book, and take the time to do it.

How else do you survive the modern world if you aren't diversified?

I'm trying to keep my hand in at  Pegasus Books. Feeling a little guilty about leaving everything to Cameron, though it's good practice for him if he takes over the store. I plan a series of tasks, but usually only get about half of them done, and then I've shot the day and even if I don't work the whole day it takes a chunk out of the middle.

We are overwhelmed with material. That's my doing. I've always felt the more we carry the more we sell, but I'm probably pushing the limits. (The basement is a scary hoarders domain.)

But for instance, I spent the last few months bringing in toys, finding every square inch to display them, and sure enough, sales on toys have doubled. Concentrating on games and books and toys has added to their totals at a time when Magic and comics are flat or slightly lagging.

There is quite the hubbub in the comic world over how things are going, but due to past experiences I long ago diversified Pegasus Books so that I could turn my attentions to those parts of the store that ARE working and using that money to help with the parts that aren't working. There is flexibility there, helped by the fact that we have customers off the street due to our location.

Due to being in Bend, I was never going to make it with comics alone. If I carried double the comics and graphic novels it wouldn't double the sales. So I was forced by circumstance to diversify. I can't imagined being a shop that only does comics now. Too much at the mercy of the marketplace.

This is the umpteenth time that there has been dislocation in the comic market. Sometimes it's Marvel, sometimes it's DC, sometimes it's both, sometimes it's the Indys, but it is a constant cycle that I've come to expect.

It's not just comics. Books are obviously going through a generational change, games are in constant flux, toys are completely unpredictable.

How else do you survive the modern world if you aren't diversified?